I’m Doing This To Myself

I’ve taught my heart to betray me.
I’ve instructed my ears to mute You.
I’ve taught myself badly,
And this is the result:
I am here.
I think I live.
I think I love.
But I cannot do either,
As long as I think this is all that I am.
You created me,
And I have deformed myself.
You made me in Your image,
And I have turned round the mirror.
I cannot see the truth this way.
I cannot know Your love this way.
I cannot find my way this way.
While blinded by my thoughts,
I will not rest in Your arms.
Until I see and say and do,
What You created me to be.
I shall not awaken from this slumber.

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