I Had A Lifetime…

I had a lifetime

Admiring moose and ice capped mountains

Held by my father’s arms and gaze

Too young to fear anything or anyone

Smiling a toothless happy grin

Then we moved back to the lower 48.

I had a lifetime

Playing in Roman Gardens

Confused when both parents disappeared

Yet happy to be with my Granddaddy

Eating burgers at the Sun n Fun club

Then we moved upstate.

I had a lifetime

At the corner of Carmen and Spawn

Playing Barbies and making tree forts

Afraid of being left out or behind

Thrilled to fly down hills on bikes and sleds

Then we moved south.

I had a lifetime

Filled with band camp and boy crushes

Graduating from glasses and braces

Still afraid of being the last girl picked

But finding friends in the quiet corners

Then I was moved by the spirit.

I had a lifetime

Jumping in a mosh pit filled with Alpha dogs

Singing Alleluia in a chapel on a hill

Tying myself to rocks that tried to crush me

Trying so hard to escape all the pain

And then I moved out.

I had a lifetime

Of china patterns and financed furniture

Cook-outs with neighbors on the lake

Happy to be a grown up, finally

Yet afraid that this was all there was

So I moved some mountains.

I had a lifetime

Of families and children and courts

Investigating the sickly ties that bind

Of choke holds and passive aggression

Afraid of making a deadly mistake

So I moved up.

I had a lifetime

Of break ups and get togethers

Of wise counsel and deep thinking

Finally relaxing into the joy of love

Finding my own answers in my own time

Delighted I had moved heaven and earth.

I had a lifetime

Of contracts and clients

Sitting among those born with it all

Swirling new friends around a Rotary

Tripping into traps set by others

So I moved the goalposts.

I am standing in my next lifetime

Unafraid because my skills are innate

Embraced by arms that welcome me

Thrilled with all that is before me

Letting go of every other lifetime

Happy I keep moving on.


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