You Were Never Who I Thought You Were

I almost allowed it to break me, my heart, my self, my life. 
It almost shattered all of me, fragments of pain, strife.
I looked at you through wounded eyes, blinded eyes, scared.
I wished with all I had for the prize of you, the triumph of winning your love.
I thought you were a gift from God, a Holy gift, an answered prayer.
But now I see the truth, and know the truth inside of me.

For you were never who I thought you were,
And you could never make me into who I want to be.

Your charismatic charm and grace attracted me like moth to flame.
Your words so sweet, my melted hopeful heart would never be the same.
All of us were mesmerized by you, or who we thought you were.
Giving you the power to break me, with a wrong glance, wrong word, or silence.
I know you were a gift from God, a Holy gift, to help me see.
The emptiness in me, was not your fault, was never yours.

For you were never who I thought you were,
And you could never make me into who I want to be.

Who are we really?
Why can’t we see?
If we take off the masks,
Will we find ourselves free?

My heart loved in darkness, for so long, down so low.
Tried in vain to contain it, bust through it, keep still.
I wasted years, willing you near, to win you back, or quit you.
Pain filled my days, my nights, my life, my mind.
All the while missing, what I should have known, what God knew.
But not until I realized it myself could I be free.

For you were never who I thought you were,
And you could never make me into who I want to be.

I created you, in my image, to serve my needs, to be me.
A mirror to escape my fears, my fascinations.
A sheet of glass, I projected all my love and hatred onto you.
So innocent and blameless, or guilty filled with shame.
You were only, ever, what I wanted you to be.
So now I forgive, myself, and all I made you be for me.

For you were never who I thought you were.
And you never had the power to make me into who I want to be.

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