I’m Never Upset For The Reasons I Think

I’m never upset for the reasons I think.
My eyes dart ’round quickly,
Not daring to blink,
Seeking, alighting
On problems du jour.
Ferreting possible
sins of mon coeure.
People and places,
Thoughts of things said
Awaken me, taunting,
and fill me with dread.
Guilty accusers scream
Visciously loud,
Calling out, “crucify her”
From the crowd.
While I’m believing
the voice in my head
That says I am evil
And wishes me dead.
Until I remember
One voice speaks the truth.
It tells me these visions
are never the root
Of the headaches and heartaches
And troubles I see.
They’re just simple symptoms
that aren’t even me.
I am still in here,
deep down and still still,
Untroubled by actions
and words, and until
I dig out my far flung
Projections and guilt,
Cast onto people
and structures I’ve built
And finally recall
what I did at the start,
When the big bang went boom
and I fell from God’s heart
Believing I’d made
An enormous mistake
Eating an apple
I took from a snake.
But I didn’t and couldn’t
And wouldn’t leave home.
I’m there at this moment
If I truly atone
For the error in judgment
I believe I have made.
But I lazily lay here,
sleeping daylight away.
I dream of a garden
Where once we had thrived
Knowing true love
Being truly alive.
Now God in His kindness
has outstretched His hand
To gently awaken me
Rousing me, and
Showing me kindly
How wrongly I’ve thought
Correcting, revealing
The lies that I bought.
Now finally comprending
and starting to blink
For I’m never upset
for the reasons I think.

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